I’m sure that there are things we regret or we would rather not have done, or that we would rather be doing than what we are doing now. “If you could change one thing…” is one of those cliched statements or questions that really can’t be answered because if you changed just one thing, your life may have taken a completely different turn.
I would rather that my parents had not have had to sell their house and I wish they didn’t live so far away. If they hadn’t have moved though, I wouldn’t have moved in with Gran to make the commute to uni more bearable, I wouldn’t have moved closer to where hubby lived at the time, our relationship may not have developed the way it did and we wouldn’t be married now.
I would prefer that I hadn’t written off my car, the beloved Corona. However, had I not done that I wouldn’t have spent as much time with hubby when we were dating because he wouldn’t have had to drive me everywhere. Again, may not be married now.
I didn’t enjoy my time at Starbucks very much. I kind of liked the place, the music was good, the people were nice (some of them anyway). I liked that I could pour shots and froth milk. I didn’t like how rude customers were, I didn’t like how when I was rinsing the dishes the water blaster would blast stale milky coffee all over my clothes, I didn’t love the smell that permeated my being until I showered. I did like how hubby used to walk up (after he had moved from near Gran’s to near the shops) and watch me clean up from a distance then he’d creep forward when he thought I was nearly ready to leave and he’d give me a lift home. It was the sweetest thing.
I’d prefer that my part in two other people’s love life had not been that they didn’t get together because I fancied one of them. In the end their desire to not hurt my feelings (which I appreciate) didn’t really come to anything, it still hurt like nothing else when I finally accepted he wouldn’t love me. I married someone else and they’re finally engaged to be married. Maybe there were other circumstances that stopped them from going out, and maybe it worked out for the better, perhaps they were slightly more ready for the relationship a six months or a year later. Maybe this one is evidence that things will turn out even if you change something, I don’t know.
I don’t love my job now. It’s great experience and I’m thankful for the things I’ve learnt, but it’s not what I get up for in the morning or not what I want to get up for in the morning. In a year or two I may be able to look back and see all the presently hidden blessings that came from working here.
So in the end I think it’s the little things that really matter, good things come in small packages – so our jobs, uni, the things that take up the most time, they’re not “it”. When we look back it won’t be these things themselves that made us who we are, it’ll be the things they led to, whatever those things are.
Regrets are a sticky thing. You never know REALLY what you should if anything. I think of the story of Joseph in Genesis. I am sure there were plenty of things Joseph and/or his brothers would have regreted. However, it worked the way it was supposed to.